DEPAKOTE ( divalproex sodium )
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-Submitted May 9, 2008
Sasicasi

I have been on depakote for over one year now (500mg daily) and do not feel as if it is working anymore. Aside from the Depakote, I am on Cymbalta (60mg daily) and Xanax as needed (prescribed only 10-2mg every three months). All but the xanax were prescribed to me while recovering from attempted suicide in a mental institution. Everyone there received the same medicine no matter what reason they had been admitted. I am unable to stay awake, I crave sugar all the time, my bones hurt and the last thing I feel like doing is exercising. It is enough to work full time, take care of 3 girls (4, 6 and 15) and keep myself in line. Good news is I am meth free and doing well to abstain from alcohol. I am meeting with my first pyschologist next week. This has been delayed for too long now.

Over the past week, I have broke down or out four times and sometimes dont' even know why or just over something stupid. Every month, two weeks prior to my menstral cycle, I turn into a devil with horns and all. No matter how much I adjust diet, etc I could explode. There was a time, I was so focused it was scary. My memory was amazing and now I use lists to remember what needs to be done. The really sad part is I loose the frickin list now! I can not tell if I am truly bipolar, crazy, OCD, ADHD or just dealing with a stressful world with a messed up society that inflicts every sort of idea, justifies it and then treats it with a pill.

I am meeting with my general practioner to reevaluate my medicine. Blood tests have been taken to ensure my thyroid, blood sugar and other levels are good. So far, nothing has been found bad. Lithium may be an option; however I ultimately would like to be medication free. I have a really hard time accepting that I am dealing with mental illness and that it has over run my physical life so badly. My grandmother, my aunt and my uncle all have been diagnosed with bipolar. I also have an uncle diagnosed with schizophrenia.

DEPAKOTE ( divalproex sodium )
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